[4 p.m.] In less than 12 hours, Naples went from being one of the most finely-manicured cities anywhere to one of the world’s largest brush and tree limb dumps. I didn’t see a single home in Naples or on its beach that didn’t lose at least one tree or bush. Some of the bigger trees broke water mains when their trunks toppled over and roots came to the surface. Tomorrow, Naples’ mayor has told all city employees to come in casual clothes because they’re likely going to lend a hand in cleaning up debris.

If you own a house here, you have some yard work to do. People who evacuated their homes will be allowed back into town Tuesday at 7 a.m. and the first thing facing them will be yard work. If there’s one thing I absolutely dread, it’s doing yard work in Florida. I’d rather change 20 messy baby diapers—maybe even adult diapers—than mow the lawn. If I owned a home here, I’d consider not returning just to avoid the yard work. When I was a kid, I couldn’t understand why people had yards filled with rocks. They were so ugly and uncomfortable for playing tackle football with your friends. Now a homeowner myself, I know why these people, usually retirees, had rock yards. Those people were BRILLIANT. They never had to fire up a lawn mower, buy all those other expensive tools and kill themselves in the heat. They just had to open a jug of weed killer and spray every inch of their rock yard.

Of course, these were the same people who poured their bacon grease down city sewers, buried used motor oil in their backyard and opened cans of freon just for laughs.

Down at the beach, the first human I saw was 23-year-old Blake Crawford of Naples. His mom lived on one end of the beach and his granmother lived on the other end. To get to his grandma’s today, Blake had taken one of his mom’s contour sheets from the linen closet and turned it into a sail for his skateboard. Man, I remember 23 and doing fun stuff like that. Then, one day, I woke up, my skateboard was gone, Stroh’s beer was no longer $1.99 a six pack at Albertsons, MASH had been canceled and, worse, I had a full-time job.

At the Naples Pier, Wilma and the storm’s tidal surge had done a number on the beach. In fact, when I went down there, there really wasn’t much of a beach. The tide had come right up to the sea grape plants and there was hardly any sand to walk on. Just yesterday afternoon, people were here laying on a beach that was at least 50 yards wide.

[4:30 p.m.] Along the beach, streets are flooded and flattened palm trees are everywhere. I was a little surprised that I didn’t see a single police officer or cruiser out here. I suppose they had more important things to do, like get traffic lights out of the street, report downed power lines and keep an eye on Blake and that contoured sheet contraption of his. Wind power - ha! Whatever made him think he could use wind for a source of power? Oh yea, the hurricane that just caused millions of dollars in damage to Naples.